I was driving home recently, following my sat nav as obediently as ever, when it sent me the long way round for no good reason. Again.
There’s a road near my house with a sign that says “No vehicles except for access”. I live on that road. I absolutely have access. I am the exception.
My sat nav, however, sees only the first part of the sign. “No vehicles.” Full stop. Rule detected. Rule followed. No room for nuance, context or common sense.
That got me thinking about how often we do exactly the same thing in life and in business.
How often do we follow rules so rigidly that we forget to look for the exceptions?
When Rules Become Blinkers
Rules are useful. They help us function as humans in society. We queue. We take turns. We don’t push in. Most of the time, that works beautifully.
But sometimes, rules become blinkers. We treat guidelines as if they are cast in stone. We assume we don’t have permission. We tell ourselves “I couldn’t possibly do that” without ever checking whether the rule is real, relevant or still useful.
In my work with clients, I often see this through the lens of DISC profiling. People with a high C profile are more likely to follow rules to the letter. People with a low C profile are more likely to see rules as flexible guidelines. Neither is right or wrong. Problems arise when we don’t realise which rulebook we’re using or that other people might be using a completely different one.
I once worked with a high performing finance team that was riddled with tension. It turned out the financial controller had made a couple of offhand comments that some team members had taken as absolute rules with no exceptions. Others hadn’t. When one person “broke the rule”, resentment exploded. The truth? The rule had never really existed.
The Power of “Because”
There’s a brilliant study from Robert Cialdini’s book Influence that illustrates this perfectly. In the famous photocopier experiment, researchers looked at what happened when someone tried to jump the queue.
If they just pushed in, people objected. If they asked politely and gave a reason, people were far more likely to let them through. Even when the reason was utterly meaningless.
“Excuse me, may I use the photocopier because I need to make some copies?”
Logically, that explains nothing. Psychologically, it works.
The word “because” creates an exception. It signals that the rule still exists, but this situation is different. Our brains accept it almost automatically.
I find that fascinating. And it raises an important question.
Where in your life are you following the rule without ever asking whether an exception might apply?
Rethinking Your Rulebook
We all carry an internal rulebook. Most of it is invisible. Some of it is inherited. Some of it is outdated. Some of it was never written down properly in the first place.
If progress feels slow, frustrating or blocked, it’s often not because you need to work harder. It’s because the rulebook you’re using no longer fits the reality you’re in.
Sometimes the most powerful shift is simply asking “What if this is a guideline, not a rule?”
If you’re curious about where your own rules might be limiting you and where you’re allowed to be the exception, I’d love to explore that with you. Book a call with me with me and use me as a sounding board to play with new possibilities. You might find the shortcut home has been there all along.
